Chit-Chat Tuesday: Now That the Honeymoon Is Over . . . A Valentine's Day Tradition

So let's do it . . . let's talk Valentine's Day.

My husband and I are not big fans of Valentine's Day. Why? Well, we feel every day should be a day to love your spouse, to do kind things for them, and so on. We practice this as a couple...actually, maybe 'practice' isn't the right word--it's now something we just do for each other.

I'll never forget walking into church that one Sunday morning after getting back from our honeymoon. Several couples made their way to us saying something to the effect of, "Welcome back! Now that the honeymoon is over, real life begins," and "This honeymoon won't last."
I remember walking away and glancing at my new husband. He returned my same awkward smile and furrowed brow expression. Later, in the privacy of our car ride home, we shared what we thought of those comments. And what we shared that day became our standard for the future of our marriage.

Negative comments and words of utter doom would not be the focus of our relationship. We simply were not going to 'wait around' for doomsday in our marriage. Chris was (and still is) a man of the Bible and has a heart for the Lord. He's been in the Word even since before we met way back in 2002. (I believe this was the solid foundation our marriage needed) Because of his convictions to love his wife as Christ loved the church, it made the transition to marriage an easy one for me. Once I got over the shock of "Oh my goodness, I have to cook every meal?" settling into life with a husband was seriously the easiest thing I had ever done. I got to live with and talk to my best friend every day. In fact, the rules were all ours. I have this one memory that sticks out in my mind--I think because it was a defining moment in my life when I realized I was an adult capable of making my own decisions...
There we were that one night. I had gone to the farm to help Chris milk cows. While standing in the parlor waiting for the cows to empty out their udders, I had a thought. "Hey, Chris. I don't have plans for supper, but I'm really hungry for ice cream. Want to eat ice cream for dinner and play Nintendo all night?" I'll never forget the look he gave me. At first he thought a moment. Then his eyes lit up, and with a bit of excitement in his voice and big smile on his face, he agreed. I think we both realized at that moment that we could make up our own rules together and enjoy it.

Fast forward 15 years and here we are...still having ice cream for dinner (once in a great while) and playing video games. Only now we throw in 1 teenager, 1 pre-teen, a middle schooler, a seond-grader, and toddler into the crazy mix we call our family. 

Now, what's all that got to do with Valentine's Day, right? I'm getting there.

We place a high value on our family. We do family devotions together. We pray together. We eat dinner together. We vacation together. We LOVE being together. And having 5 kids means we don't get to go out very often as a couple. Rarely are we ever alone these days. Oh, we get the occasional sitter, but we are not like some couples who go on their weekly or monthly date night. One day we will be, but right now it doesn't seem to always work for our schedule or our babysitter's schedule. 

So what do we do to make up for that? There are times we will ask our kids to play quietly in the their playroom or go outside to play so Chris and I can talk. We try to stay up later than the kids to watch t.v. together or to talk about what's on our hearts. Once in a while we will go out to dinner or we'll catch a movie when we see one worth watching. And sometimes we take a long stroll around our property to just take time to talk. But all in all, we try to treat every week, every passing year as if Valentine's Day were a regular occurrence. This means, greeting him at the door when he comes from work. Having the house clean so he doesn't feel the need to do more work after already putting in an 11-hour day. Preparing a hearty meal to keep him going when all he really wants is to sleep. Taking time to listen to how his day is going and if there is anything else I can do to help. And he does the same for me.

I'm not signing off Valentine's Day altogether. Neither am I condemning anyone who celebrates it. In fact, I enjoy celebrating holidays and I'm always looking for new ways to make them fun for the family.

So today, I'm sharing with you my fun new family tradition.

I tired of stressing over Valentine's Day and all the scheduling that goes with it. Then it hit me. Why not create a 5-star-type dinner for the whole family to enjoy? Not only would this surprise the hubby and be a nice "night in" for us, but it would serve as an etiquette lesson for our children and teach them some important truths about marriage and family.

So I started planning. (I once worked for a very prestigious historical country inn, so I had had all the training I needed to create this atmosphere) With the use of my computer and the kids' black construction paper, I printed out an elegantly typed menu and pasted the white copy paper to the black construction paper. It turned out quite exquisite! (See my Instagram account for photos)

I wrote a note to my husband with some simple directions on it and taped it to the front door. I wanted to make sure he knew what he was walking into! I had already taken the liberty of laying out his dress clothes and I told my kids to take showers and dress in their finest attire (they call it "church dress"). A half hour later, my husband and kids had come down all cleaned up and ready for a special evening. Only I knew what was coming for the evening--they remained interested, eager to know, and none the wiser. 

I set the table to a careful table setting (I was quite the Mr. Carson). I used all my good china and silverware and even some stemmed water glasses (which I knew would be a treat for the kids). I even filled them with sparkling (non-alcoholic) apple cider--our favorite! 

Once everyone was seated, I started with the first course--a simple Ceasar salad. While they ate, I prepared for the 2nd course. While the 2nd was cooling, I sat down to eat my salad (and that's about how it went the rest of the meal for me). The 2nd course was my chicken pot pie soup--what a hit! Our third course was sirloin steak and twice baked potato with green beans. By this time, everyone was filling up, so before I brought out the dessert (a red velvet cheesecake), we played a game I had already set out on the table as a table setting. We used construction paper conversation hearts to start various conversations around the table. We laughed quite a bit (which is our favorite thing to do together). By the end of the evening, my kids had thanked me about a dozen times and said it had been the best night and the best dinner ever. They are already looking forward to this year's dinner. 

I'm glad I could create such a special event for my family. I'm also glad I included my children on the Valentine's Day festivities. I believe that children will grow up to mimic their parents in some way. If I can help teach them how to serve others and live lovingly then I know it's worth the extra effort and sacrifice of time.


I'd like to hear from you . . . Share your special traditions or moments as a couple or as a family.

Comments

  1. Wonderful post. I was blessed with a wonderful marriage too.

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    1. That's wonderful! It always warms my heart to hear other women say they have been blessed with great marriages. I believe that's a true gift from God.

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  2. Love, love, love this post. I guess then that it’s normal for newlyweds to hear all the negativity. I was so surprised at all the comments about how my hubby would change, how he would stop buying me small treats, that he wasn’t who I thought he was, and all the “fights” that would ensue. I tell people that we are still waiting for all the horrid things...cause none of that happened! I love being a wife...and though far from perfect, I try to do what I know pleases him and makes him happy. I dreamed of having a large family, but that wasn’t what God supplied. We have three, and God decided that was just right. For Valentines, my mom always made a special meal, decorated the table, and she made a large heart fudge for each of us that she put at the place setting. As a family, we loved it. Then the day after Valentines, mom took us to the store to each pick out a bag of treats. Of course, they were on sale! 😊 I try to do the same special place setting, food, and home made treats that my mom did. With my dystonia, I can’t always even get out of bed. However, we always make it a special family day somehow. We watch the Charlie Brown Valentines every year. I can manage that from bed. 💗 Lovely Post!

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    1. What a heart-warming thing for me to read! Thank you for sharing that. And I would say that my husband and I are still waiting for all the bad to happen too. :) We try to be the encouragement to other newly weds and point out all the good in marriage while still being real about it too. But we will never give a couple a "death sentence" so-to-speak. :)
      Sounds like you had a wonderful childhood and are incorporating that into your life today. I'm sure your family appreciates that. And God knows all you can handle. Every thing has its own special purpose to give you the best life only HE can give. Thank you for reading and sharing! :)

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